Chet Ubetcha vs. EdgySlayerBoi69 (The Sex Number)
Winner: EdgySlayerBoi69 (The Sex Number)
Reason: HUGE grudge match going on here. Not confident in either team with questions marks like Cooks, Brown and DJ Moore on one side and Hardman, Howard and Goodwin on the other side. But I like Fournette better than Montgomery and I don’t think Tevin Coleman will actually play this week. Therefore I’m going with the Edgy boiiiiii.
The Screaming Aliens vs. All Aboard The Saquon Train
Winner: All Aboard The Saquon Train
Reason: The Screaming Aliens will continue to scream after a decisive victory by The Saquon Train as they chug along to victory thanks to Austin Ekeler (at least until Gordon comes back or small boi Ekeler gets hurt). Could be a close game if any of The Screaming Aliens running back’s score multiple touchdowns but that might be a long shot against two good defenses.
Porkchop Sandwiches vs. Brady Bunch
Winner: Brady Bunch
Reason: A lot of uncertainty on Porchop’s roster this week. I’m still in favor of starting Will Fuller but having Terry and him on such small rosters makes me wonder about this boom or bust strategy. Conner and McCoy might not play this week as well; not a great look so far. On the other hand Brady Bunch is pleasantly surprising me this year. The WR groups looks really good and McCaffery is obviously a star. If Penny or Barber break away from the other RBs this roster is going to be deep.
Behind the Steel Curtain vs. Da Blochinators
Winner: Da Blochinators
Reason: Is this real life wow, Da Blochinators just looks like a better team. Michel can’t be counted on for much, Wentz is hurt constantly and starting two tight ends is bad news bears (even if Waller lines up as a wide receiver most plays his upside is limited by his function as a tight end). There are avenues for victory for the Steel Curtain of course, Chris Carson fumbled twice last week and Hockenson is still a rookie tight end (who I might like even less than Fant). A lot could go wrong for Da Blochinators but I’m betting on the strength of his running backs (including Carson).
Stud Muffins vs. Stairway to Kevin
Winner: Stairway to Kevin
Reason: Toughest game in the league to call by far. I don’t see any real holes in either roster this week minus the QBs but that’s something easily corrected. I don’t know what else to say besides Godwin can be tricky at times. Maybe Emmanuel Sanders has trouble against a really good Green Bay secondary that shut down Diggs last week but I’m not sure. Too close for me to give a good answer but my heart says Stairway to Kevin.
Marianne Williamson's Crystals vs. Me and Julio Down by the Schoolyard
Winner: Me and Julio Down by the Schoolyard
Reason: Me and Julio might have a slightly better squad this week so he’ll get the W. Aaron Jones is good but losing carries to Jamal Williams at the worst moments. I think this will start to correct itself this week against a good defense though. Derrick Henry usually kills the Jaguars unless the final is like 9-6 but he’ll probably have 100 yards at least. Marianne Williamson needs a W this week so hopefully Mixon and Jacobs can beat good defenses to help get that bag.
Overall Record: 8-4