Conner4Real vs. Quon solo
Winner: Conner4Real
Reason: I’ve underappreciated what Quon Solo has done this year for sure. 98% I’ve ragged on the team since the draft as being “talent-less” and “just generally a shitty team” but here they are with a 2-0 recording playing against Connor4Real with an 0-2 record. I’ll give the owner props for beating expectations so far. But that doesn’t mean I'm going to let the past influence my decisions. Connor4real (now that Mixon and Williams are health) has the better team and is on track to win their first game this week.
Smokin LeGarrett Blunts vs. A Team Has No Name
Winner: A Team Has No Name
Reason: A battle of two unfortunate losers. Both of these teams need a win this week so they can avoid dropping to the dreaded 0-3. A Team Has No Name still has a solid lineup even with Brees getting hurt. I’m going Agholor over Anderson and Curtis Samuel over Adrian Wilson. It will be a close game that A Team Has No Name should win.
Kickers Are People Too vs. God Hates Jags
Winner: Kickers Are People Too
Reason: Kickers Are People Too is the best team in the league right now no thanks to his Kicker (3 points in week 1 & 4 points in week 2). If they can stay healthy it looks the team has a good enough roster heading into the playoffs to make some noise. If Damien Williams and Mark Andrews don’t play I think we could see an upset here. I just really hate the matchups for God Hates Jags, both quarterbacks won’t have it easy and neither will the rest of the team.
More Groupies for Dukey vs. Warriors30
Winner: More Groupies for Dukey
Reason: So far for whatever insane reason George has been able to win without a second QB over the past two weeks. Austin Ekeler’s hot start and Derrick Henry’s big runs sure have helped. But it doesn’t look like the team has moved Hunter Henery out of the tight end spot and again won’t be starting two QBs so the streak will have to end at 2. Dukey with an easy win.
BORTAL KOMBAT vs. TEBOW TIME
Winner: TEBOW TIME
Reason: Two of the loudest teams face off this week in what you would call a lopsided matchup if you looked at the standings but in reality you would still be correct. Sure BORTAL KOMBAT has Conner (who might not play) Robert Woods, D.K. Metcalf and Edelman but the rest of the roster is trash. If O.J. Howard can’t find more targets and Burkhead doesn’t get into the end zone it will be a long day for BORTAL KOMBAT. But besides the bad roster there is only one reason this team isn’t in first and scoring 200 points a week. It’s that the franchise’s name invokes the great Blake Bortles yet doesn’t even roster him. That’s sacrilege.
The Cleveland Clowns vs. My Ball Zach Ertz
Winner: My Ball Zach Ertz
Reason: Closest game of the week in this league. I went back and forth on choosing the winner a lot this week. Hockenson is a rookie tight end but Terry might not catch a touchdown this week. Sony will probably score but if he doesn’t and Mostert gets valuable carries inside the 10 then the Clowns could take it. Too many variables to consider, especially if Mariota blows up the Jags D on Thursday night with 18 screen passes to Derrick Henry.
Overall Record: 2-10