My predictions are always right. Check em’
Connor4Real
NFL.com has me going 2-11 so if I do any better than that I’ll consider this a successful season.
Draft grade: B+
Record Predictions: 8-5 (playoffs)
Antonios Helmet Services LLC
The Mixon/Mahomes combo. Nice. I like one half of that and it’s not the early QB. Then we got a Steelers stack which I’m ganna say is fine but def doesn’t enthuse me. Picks 5 and 6 are so bad I don’t even want to comment on them. Fuller doesn’t play with me and SF is very touch and go/ride the hot hand with their backfield. Mostert isn’t even the most talented RB there. Stafford is fine as a QB2. Edelman is going to be a wildcard but I’m interested in getting a piece to see how things work out in NE. Hurst is a great TE at a great value on a great team for TEs. Jeffery is a terrible pick cuz your boy probs won’t be ready until week 8 at the earliest. I like investing in the rookie WR class but Reagor is not one of the guys I wanna do it with. Sanu is cut and Campbell is not Pittman so he’s ganna be trash this year.
Final thoughts: Not enough good to balance out the bad.
Draft grade: C
Record Predictions: 5-8
Old Man Rivers
Like Lamar in the first. CEH I could get behind now that we’re past cuts and everything but I’m still cautious of taking him with the 14th pick. Next pick probably falls into the fine category with Cooper at 35. David Johnson went too early, boooooo. DeVante Parker is someone I’m waiting another year on before having him as a starting WR week one. Love Waller at 62, Marvin Jones might have been drafted at his ceiling at 83 but I don’t hate it, and Brady at 86 might actually be a steal. Dionte Johnson is 100% a wild card so I don’t know how to feel about him at 107. Love Sonny and Cam in round 10 and 11. Think we’ll look back on those two picks with major regret as both guys 100% outperform their adp. Tate is great, Mike Williams is hurt (what else is new for LAC). Hate Rudolph as a flyer (just take Irv instead my dude) but love A.J. Dillion.
Final thoughts: Good start, weird middle I don’t like most of but from Brady on I’m loving it (get Rudolph the fuck out of here tho).
Draft grade: B
Record Predictions: 7-6 (playoffs)
Draft Grade C-
This is a draft grade C. Nah just playin. I fucking hate Henry so early tho. But you’ve got me coming back with Josh Jacobs at 17. Wilson at 32 is not something I would do personally but I can’t say I hate it. LOOOOVEEE DK and Gallup with the next picks. Within the next two years I could very easily see them both being top 24 picks. Cam Akers is a trash pick at 65. Cooks going too late for the WR1 in HOU (consider where Watson is going in drafts/the expectations of the Houston offense this year) until he gets another concussion and retires. Rodgers is another one I’m not 100% sure how I feel about, I think he’s probably not worth the price but I don’t have strong feelings here. John Brown, Deebo, and DeSean Jackson are all bad picks. Don’t do this. Kirk and Gesicki might save the team from the terrible 9-11 picks. 49ers DST is ganna be way worse than people are expecting this year, bad pick. Shady shouldn’t have been drafted but Cobb is a fine flyer. I might even consider starting Cobb over Akers or Brown in week 1. Graham and Olson as late round fliers make me want to legit kill myself, why would you do this when guys like Josh Kelly, Rex Burkhead, Russell Gage and others are still available.
Final thoughts: Really have a love hate relationship with most teams and this is no exception. If Henry at returns at least 3rd round value (which I think is the most likely outcome) this team could just barely salvage a good enough record to make into the playoffs.
Draft grade: B-
Record Predictions: 6-7
Thielen Lucky
I like every single of these picks. Um super weird. I take some issue with Pollard, maybe Godwin (at his adp) and Jared Cook (but Cook at 124 is almost stealing). Weird to say almost everything else this team did is great. I’m ganna simp so hard for this team.
Final thoughts: Said it already really. I love this team
Draft grade: A
Record Predictions: 11-2 (Playoffs)
Exxon Valdez-Nuts
I’m very skeptical of Michael Thomas as the top WR but he probably won’t finish any worse than 5th so it’s a fine selection. Aaron Jones is fine, I won’t fight that even if I love AJ Dillon. A-Rob works in round 3, good stuff so far. Oh no I spoke too soon Ridley is going way too early in drafts and this is no exception. Like Singletary a lot (undervalued for sure). Hate Henry here, he has trash QBs and an injury history I’m not excited about. James White also a little early even though he has the most defined role in NE. Wentz I like at 91 but you better have a good backup. Hooper I liked a lot earlier on in the process but now I’m not as much of a fan. This might be fair value still. Love Burrow and Robby Anderson LIKE A LOT. Good memes. Drew Lock is a fine backup/flyer. Steelers one of the best early round defenses to take but I still wouldn’t take them 174. Chris Thompson, Corey Davis and Rex Burkhead are good flyers. Good job on the backend.
Final thoughts: QBs are probably a little weak but I like a lot of the early draft. Think the bench will really help this team succeed.
Draft Grade: B
Record Predictions: 7-6 (playoffs)
The Cleveland Clowns
The first pick is very normie, super on brand for the owner. Love the next 3 picks and surprised this Cleveland team is rostering Mark Andrews but I love it. Sutton is a good get in the mid rounds. Swift I’m not a huge fan of at his value in a two QB league. What’s funny about this team is the QBs are 100% the weak point lol. Also the fact that this team drafted Roethlisberger will never cease to make me laugh after all the Big Ben slander I’ve heard over the years of living with the owner. Coleman, Watkins and Duke are good enough late round dudes but after we hit pick 14 (def round 15) I don’t like any selections really.
Final thoughts: Such a hot start here but the rest of the draft really falls short. In an ultra competitive league it’s going to be tough for them to make a run.
Draft grade: B-
Record Predictions: 6-7
2 Girls 1 Chubb
I like the first 4 picks so they got that going for them. But taking two tight ends in rounds 1-5 in a two quarterback league is actual cringe. Then unfortunately following it up with Rojo really sours a strong start. Not crazy at all about Boyd and I would go as far to say I hate Crowder at any pick that isn’t past 130. Getting Fournette in round 9 is really good, this team might be making a comeback draft wise. JKLOL get this fucking Zach Moss trash out of my fucking face. (looks at the next 7 picks and realizing I like almost all of them) At least the team did one thing right drafting a kicker late….
Final thoughts: For real this team probably got unlucky with Rojo but they also inexcusably took TE in a very deep league way too early and it will cost them especially with a very weak QB room.
Draft grade: C
Record Predictions: 4-9
Ur addicted to toothpaste
More like “Ur addicted to Mid-tier QBs and overrated rookies” am i right? I know the owner loves Eckler and I think he’s fine but the real prize early on is Tyreek Hill. Watson and Dak makes for a great QB group but the rest of the team def suffers for it. Brown is very hit or miss week to week and I think the BAL passing offense will be worse this year anyway. Hate Taylor with Mack still there but if the current crop of fantasy analysis are to be believed this would be a steal. I don’t agree. AJ is gross, Jordan Howard is fine and Gronk at 103 makes me want to fucking reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. Shepard is a good pick, def the most talented receiver on the GMen as correctly identified by this owner. But Foles at 127 makes me think about the previous Gronk pick and now I want to die. Hopefully Josh Kelley can save this team but I’m not so sure that’s ganna be the case.
Final thoughts: Good QB room, good start, really bad middle, it only gets worse in the late middle. I guess I don’t hate some of the flyers but I don’t think it’s enough (Hardman, Edmonds, Kelley are guys I like).
Draft grade: C
Record Predictions: 5-8
Natural Born Kylers
More like “Natural Born trash team” damn that joke does not do well the second time around. First five picks I have no problem with. Man it really feels like we are ganna have a new top class of WR replacing the old very soon (I’m talking about guys like Terry, DK, Woods, maybe JuJu, Chark). Hunt is ok but he’s in that mid tier of RBs I’m not really a fan of taking at their ADP. Just wait on guys like Phillip Lindsay, Sony Michele and Kerryon Johnson fivehead. Like Jarvis a lot, he’s a guy I’m very interested in taking in the mid rounds. Slayton is too early at 92 and following it up with Jones is too homer for me and just too early for Daniel Jones anyway. Fant and Lamb are dope young exciting flyers so this team gets points for that. I’d actually classify Henderson in the Fant and Lamb category too. Darnold will throw a lot so he’s got that going for him. Getting the Bears defense at the appropriate time is really smart too imo.
Final thoughts: Corny jokes aside this team is probably teetering on a razor's edge re: the playoffs. QB1 is good, good starting WR and a good RB1. But the rest I’m not a huge fan of. This team will need some big waiver wire adds to be competitive but after the draft I see a really good skeleton of a team forming.
Draft grade: B-
Record Predictions: 7-6 (playoffs)
Mr Jones and Me
First two picks are fine, normal, all good. Miles Sanders is appropriately taken at pick 34 so this goes down as a “+” in my book. Kupp is not the best reciever on his team but he’s still a top 20 WR. I’m not ganna comment on AJ Brown too much because I didn’t see enough last year to have him super high. Maybe too early for Engram at 63. Like Matt Ryan in a two QB league at 82. Love Mack and Kerryon with very late selections. Hate Jimmy G this year. Jeudy is a weird flyer for me because I’m not sure how I feel about the QB (no shade to Jeudy he’s very talented). Hock is a fine backup, he’s the backup for this team right? Ganna ignore the kicker and defense. Love Love, and Harry as flyers and McKinnon is a easy droppable guy if he’s not involved with the team early.
Final Thoughts: this is 100% my favorite team with Miles Sanders on it.
Draft Grade: B+
Record Predictions: 8-5 (playoffs)
Hey Darnold
First three picks here I’m kinda fine with (big surprise here). Gurley and Chubb carry with them different but equally risky qualities. Oh god there is no way I can hate a team that grabs Woods in the 4th round. Or can I? Spoiler: I can and it’s because of two simple words “Melvin Gordon”. I am frustrated because without the Gordon pick I would be really into this team but it gets worse. The team rebounded by taking Diggs then went right back to “digging” their own grade with Higbee in the 7th. Then the inexplicable happened, the owner must have been enjoying some mayo which allowed the soul of a Titans fan to take over his body and forced him to take Ryan Tannehill at 88 because that’s the only acceptable reason to take Ryan Tannehill at pick 88. Then to follow that up we have Hines in the 9th round, I would have been ok with it if it was Marlon Mack, so they got the right team I guess? Beasley was a bad pick hands down. But in all the garbage here there is a gem. Gibson in the 11th is a great pick, gatta give credit there. I like Bryce Love at this value too since Gibson is going so high but if I had to choose between the two I would def take Gibson in round 11. OK now back to your regularly scheduled shitting on. What the fuck is Witten doing on a roster let alone being drafted in the 12th round damn, same goes for Larry (he just shouldn’t go before Kirk or before pick 200 in any league). AP is a good pick before going to Detroit now we’ll have to wait and see but I suspect he’ll just be the clear backup until someone gets hurt. Like the Rams DST but also maybe a bit early for that one. I used basically the same joke on my “Bacon Games” predictions but contrary to popular opinion taking Chris Conley and Devonta Freeman in the last few rounds is actually good because they are such terrible picks that it will be a lot easier to drop them to pick up with first crop of waiver wire guys. That’s 8D Risk right there.
Final thoughts: I want love this team but I just can’t, I am sadboi.
Draft grade: C-
Record Predictions: 4-9
Playoff Teams
Mr Jones and Me
Natural Born Kylers
Exxon Valdez-Nuts
Thielen Lucky
Old Man Rivers
Connor4Real
Championship
Connor4Real vs. Thielen Lucky
Winner: Thielen Lucky